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3. The Da Nang Dunts (2024) – Vietnam stop over

It is now 2024, and a full year has passed since the Dunts, inaugural tour.

All three gang members found themselves not only still very much alive, but chomping at the bit for more.

They knew they’d be drinking quite a lot of beer on their next trip, so like the battle-hardened preppers they are, they drank quite a lot of beer throughout the year-long planning stage.

A man wearing a colorful, tall hat with stripes and a playful design, standing outdoors with greenery in the background. — *Prepping and planning*

A man wearing a colorful party hat stands outdoors, holding a stick in one hand and a can in the other. He is dressed in a tank top and shorts with paint splatters, with grass and trees in the background. — *Prepping and planning*

Believing they were now way wiser, far fitter and heaps healthier, our three rapscallions departed Australian shores, way worse, far fatter and heaps heavier, this time taking on Cambodia, Laos and Northern Vietnam.

But first though, the Dunts had to return briefly to Vung Tau, Vietnam.

To this day, Member and Sarge still aren’t sure why their president took them back to Vung Tau, although they do have a lingering suspicion.

A group of five people enjoying drinks in a vibrant bar setting with colorful lighting and decorative walls, smiling and posing for a selfie. — *Possibly President Thor’s reason for returning was in the hope of signing a recording contract*

It may have had something to do with President Thor checking if any Vietnamese ladies were carrying three-month-old babies on their hips, possibly with an Everton FC birthmark.

As far as Sarge and Member are aware, no three-legged babies were identified that resembled Thor.

A positive to returning somewhere you’ve already been, is that you know the lay of the land a little better. Things like, where to find a decent but cheap hotel with a good makeup mirror, massages, primo food, cold beers and, of course, good vibes.

A negative to returning somewhere you’ve already been, would be realising one now has to pay child custody support.

No such negatives were identified during this visit.

There are so many delights in Vietnam. Some of their women are absolutely stunning, for one. But it offers so much more than that: the nature, culture, food, and of course, the people in general.

Two cups of iced coffee with cream on top, placed on a wooden table, with a person in the background enjoying the view at sunset. — The Dunts already loved Vietnamese coffees, and re-indulged many times, especially with Vietnamese iced coffee, ‘cà phê sữa đá’. They are phenomenal! Also phenomenal are their mix of teas, which are mega flavoursome!

A man wearing a blue helmet rides a scooter with a small black and white dog perched on his back, both visible on a city street. — *A bikie mutt*

A person is grilling a round rice paper topped with vegetables and meats on a charcoal grill, using tongs to manage the cooking process. — *The Dunts’ fresh food experiences were also great.*

Sign advertising street food items: 'Bánh Tráng Nướng' which is grilled rice paper, and 'Bắp Xào' which is stir-fried corn, with illustrations of each dish. — *The Dunts’ fresh food experiences were also great.*

The Dunts love Southern Vietnam, but for this chapter, Cambodia, Laos and Northern Vietnam were calling loudly, and Vietnam was the stepping stone to get there. A nice stone they’d willingly step on any time.

As a pack, the Da Nang Dunts changed undies and countries…

5. The Da Nang Dunts – Siem Reap, Cambodia

With both Pub Street and Angkor Wat calling, our three wandering rascals survived the six-hour taxi ride to Siem Reap. Two thirds of the gang enjoyed those six hours more than the other third.

But arrive they did, and it’s always a pleasant surprise to find that your previously booked hotel is actually surprisingly nice.

A luxurious bedroom featuring a large bed with decorative pillows, a wooden bench, and elegant bedding accented with gold. To the right, there is a seating area with two chairs and a wooden table, along with a modern bathroom visible in the background. — *One of the better hotels had along the way at one of the lesser prices*

Aerial view of a hotel courtyard featuring a swimming pool with dolphin designs, surrounded by lounge chairs, tropical plants, and a patio area with tables under palm-like structures. — *One of the better hotels had along the way at one of the lesser prices*

Being hung over can be thirsty work, but these boys are cunning and sniffed out hydrating stops with ease. Thirsts were quenched.

Three men posing for a selfie at night on Pub Street, showcasing vibrant neon lights and a bustling street scene in the background. — *Unsure what sort of businesses were on Pub Street, the gang went to check*

(Not so) bright and early the following day, the Da Nang Dunts hit the road to where Angelina Jolie filmed Lara Croft: Tomb Raider at Angkor Wat 25 years earlier.

A person wearing a helmet is sitting on a motorcycle, checking their phone, dressed in a blue shirt and patterned pants, on a street with various buildings and vehicles in the background. — *The Dunts’ fearless leader, President Thor*

Mirroring ‘The Black Widows’ in Clint Eastwood’s Every Which Way, But Loose, film, the Dunts hit the road and, remarkably, even found their way there.

But first, they took a pit stop.

A man wearing a blue helmet and sunglasses sitting outdoors, sipping from a coconut through a straw, with colorful umbrellas in the background. — *Not even one hop was used in this rehydration stop*

A freshly opened green coconut with soft white flesh exposed and liquid inside, placed on a pink table. — *Not even one hop was used in this rehydration stop*

And then there was Angkor Wat.

At US$62 for a three-day pass to the Angkor Archaeological Park, it’s not overly expensive, but considering the Dunts could’ve purchased 31 cocktails each, at happy hour, for the same price, splashing out that much was not a decision made lightly.

An interior view of an ancient stone structure featuring a long hallway with multiple doorways, stone benches, and a prominent statue of a figure on the right. — *Built in the 12th century, Angkor Wat’s legacy is comparable to that of The Da Nang Dunts*

Ruins of ancient temple complex with stone structures, stairs, and detailed carvings under a clear blue sky. — *Built in the 12th century, Angkor Wat’s legacy is comparable to that of The Da Nang Dunts*

Four young girls dressed in traditional attire are gathered in an ancient temple setting, with two girls sitting on steps, one girl adjusting her clothing, and two girls standing closely together, one looking at a phone. — *Local young girls there for their own photo shoot*

Two men standing side by side with their hands on their hearts, wearing gray t-shirts, in front of a textured wall. — *Part of a weird sound test, not the Da Nang Dunts National Anthem*

Two men standing side by side against a stone wall; one wearing sunglasses and a blue shirt with patterned pants, and the other wearing a beige shirt and dark pants, both with hands over their hearts. — *Part of a weird sound test, not the Da Nang Dunts National Anthem*

Three men sitting on a stone wall by a body of water, with ancient temple structures visible in the background.

Three men standing on a pathway in front of Angkor Wat, with palm trees and temple structures visible in the background.

Three men posing for a selfie with ancient temple ruins in the background, greenery visible in the distance. — *One of The Da Nang Dunts’ promotionals posters*

A vibrant sunset over a temple complex, featuring intricate architecture with tall spires, surrounded by lush greenery and a reflective body of water in the foreground. — *A local artist’s painting, remaining to this day, rolled up somewhere* *unknown*

Close-up of a soda can with a tab and condensation on the surface. — *Old school beer can tab*

Whatever day of the year it was, it just so happened to be one of the 365 days of the year that Pub Street was open.

It would’ve been rude of the Dunts not to return and support the Cambodian economy.

The Dunts don’t like being rude so they supported the Cambodian economy very, very, very well.

But first, one must prepare with food, pool beers and pulling faces.

Plate of bruschetta topped with diced tomatoes and fresh basil, featuring toasted bread slices. — *Pub Street preparations in full swing*

A plate of rice topped with a fried egg and a serving of stir-fried chicken with basil, green onions, and chili peppers. — *Pub Street preparations in full swing*

At $2 a cocktail, the Dunts had never felt richer.

Rather than try a drink, the Dunts tried all of them and still came away with cash in their pockets.

The Dunts love Pub Street!

Three men posing for a selfie at a rooftop location with a vibrant cityscape in the background, featuring colorful lights and busy streets.

Two men smiling while sitting at a table with colorful cocktails in a lively bar setting, decorated with lights and greenery.

A vibrant cocktail served in a glass with ice, garnished with a slice of lime and a green straw, resting on a textured surface.

On Pub Street, one can enjoy a drink at an outside bar, while people-watching and having a fish pedicure. That’s Doctor Fish (Garra Rufa) eating away the dead skin.

The Dunts dig all that stuff but they did not want to be responsible for the fish dying, so went to bars without the fish-eating-feet experience.

It may have been around this time, or maybe a little later, that the Dunts came to the conclusion that late at night in Siem Reap, weird things can happen.

Three men smiling and posing for a selfie at night, with colorful lights and a bustling scene in the background. — *Sometimes late at night, Thor has itchy nipples*

A man standing next to a colorful rooster statue, wearing a grey shirt and patterned pants, with flip-flops on a tiled floor. — *Sometimes late at night, Member finds random cocks to play with*

A man holding a microphone while sitting in a colorful, lively setting with decorative items and a backdrop featuring artwork. — *Sometimes late at night, Member* *impersonates strangled cats*

Two men in a colorful bar setting, one sitting and looking serious while the other playfully leans in behind him, holding a drink. — *Sometimes late at night, Member gives Sarge sexy looks while Thor licks his lips and cuddles Member*

A man kneeling on one knee is proposing to a woman in a casual setting, with a joyful expression on her face. The background features soft lighting and colorful decorations. — *Sometimes late at night, Member is an environmentalist and recycles beer can tabs*

A close-up of a person’s hand receiving a ring from another person, with jewelry and a brightly lit background. — *Sometimes late at night, Member is an environmentalist and recycles beer can tabs*

And possibly… very probably, in fact, the weirdest thing that happened late that night in Siem Reap, was on the way home.

The Dunts stopped off for one last beer at a pop-up trolley bar, somewhere unknown.

A free, very weird, live sex show thing unfolded before the Dunts’ now blurry eyes.

The Dunts didn’t want anything to do with this exhibition.

They even felt embarrassed just being there.

So they took some photos.

Because seriously, who on earth wears a sun hat at night?

A smiling man in a casual shirt sits in a dimly lit setting, with colorful lighting. In the background, two women are seated, one wearing a floral outfit and another in a large hat. — *Sometimes late at night, superhero outfits are different*

A group of five people socializing at a bar in a lively setting with colorful lighting. One person is taking a selfie, while others are seated at a table with drinks. — *Sometimes late at night, superhero outfits are different*

With hard-core motorbikes hired and more famous ruins yet to be experienced, our night-dwellers, the ones with penises but without sunhats, became day-dwellers venturing out to the ancient stone temples once again.

Doing their Easy Rider thing, the Dunts putted throughout the Angkor Archaeological Park, taking in…

Ta Prohm…

A large tree with thick, gnarled roots enveloping an ancient stone structure, surrounded by foliage and a wooden pathway.

A group of tourists gathered in front of ancient temple ruins overtaken by large tree roots in a lush green environment.

Bayon Temple…

Ancient temple ruins surrounded by lush trees and palm trees, with a misty sky in the background.

Three men wearing helmets pose for a selfie while on scooters, with ancient temple ruins visible in the background surrounded by trees.

Preah Khan Temple…

A person wearing a maroon cap is taking a selfie inside a stone structure, holding a hand in a gesture above their head. The background shows other visitors and stone walls.

View through a stone archway leading to a temple tower, featuring intricate carvings and a pathway of weathered stone slabs.

A man posing inside a historical temple, holding his hand up as if supporting a glowing light above a stone structure. The temple features ancient stone walls and several tourists in the background.

And, amongst others, the South Gate of Angkor Thom

Historic stone gate with faces carved into it, surrounded by trees, with a motorcycle passing through. — *Very cool*

An adult man wearing a gray t-shirt and patterned pants walks alongside a young boy dressed in a black jacket and bright shorts, engaged in conversation on a sandy path surrounded by trees. — *Can I have your autograph please, President Thor?*

Some before and afters…

A woman wearing a colorful shirt sits on a red chair, working on the carcass of a pig laid out on a metal frame. Pliers are positioned on the pig, and there are various tools and items visible in the background. — *Before*

A whole roasted pig hanging on a grill, with various cuts of meat and sausages displayed on the grate below. — *Before*

Another…

A spotted black and white chicken standing on dirt near discarded plastic bottles and debris. — *Before*

A row of whole chickens being roasted on a spit over an open flame, with a shiny, golden-brown skin. — *After*

And yet another before and after…

A menu displaying spa package options with details on duration and pricing for various treatments including body scrubs, massages, facials, and aromatherapy. — *Before*

A person receiving a massage on a table, smiling, while another person, dressed in shorts, provides the massage in a dimly lit room. — *After*

With one final night in Siem Reap, the three scallywags did what they do best, eating…

A person holding a fried frog leg, with a plate of garnished fried frog legs in the background. — *The Dunts love Cambodian food*

A bowl of rich and aromatic soup with yellow broth, featuring sliced vegetables and herbs on top. — *The Dunts love Cambodian food*

And, drinking…

A menu displaying a selection of signature cocktails with names, ingredients, and prices, including items like Passion Eclipse, Rosselle Vintage, Sparkle, Spicy Cuke, Rice Paradise, and 43 Smash. — *The Dunts also love Cambodian cocktails, even if they did have to splash out $5, sometimes even $6*

Close-up of a cocktail glass containing a yellow drink, garnished with a red chili pepper and fresh herbs, set on a wooden surface. — *The Dunts also love Cambodian cocktails, even if they did have to splash out $5, sometimes even $6*

A close-up of a wrapped sugar packet with the text 'Ultimate Sugar' and an expiration code 'EXP040270' printed on it, placed on a woven surface. — *1970 may be an expiry date for some Cambodian sugar, but for others, its President Thor’s birth year, so is therefore, wonderful*

Cambodia was great, but it’s not natural to hold bikie gangs like the Da Nang Dunts down for long.

So they did the Rolling Stone thing and found a plane to take them north to a neighbouring Laos.

An airplane is parked at an airport gate during twilight, with ground crew loading baggage onto the aircraft. Mountains are visible in the background. — *Farewell Cambodia*

So it’s Lea heuy to Cambodia and Sabaidee to Laos.

4. The Da Nang Dunts – Phnom Penh, Cambodia

Having previously visited Cambodia, President Thor again took lead and booked his motley crew into somewhere unknown in Phnom Penh.

Uncoincidentally, there was a dodgy Aussie Bar across the road from the hotel.

As is the norm in South-East Asia, there were the inevitable bar girls serving beers. All lovely of course, including a deaf-mute young lady who naturally didn’t speak a word of English, or even Cambodian, as far as the Dunts were aware.

Realising a slight flaw in Thor’s planning stage by not having taken extracurricular deaf-language studies, the Da Nang Dunts ventured outwards, hunting memories to make.

*A lady of the night receiving a late-night delivery of plants for her place of employment*

*Two different, but very real elements of Phnom Penh life in one photo*

The Phnom Penh stay was short but still included at least one extremely good night out resulting in one extremely bad hangover, one cunning scam, and of course, the very sobering, Killing Fields.

Sombre sufferings from liquid abuse the night before dissipated when visiting Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum, or, as it’s also known, the Khmer Rouge prison S-21.

Tens of thousands lost their lives with only a very few surviving, the last two being Chum Mey and Bou Meng.

Meeting them both was a privilege the Dunts still value greatly.

Please, read their stories. What happened in Cambodia then remains a sad blight on humanity.

Now, some would argue the following is paranoia, some not. But when three dudes, all of whom worked together under the same boss, flee to places unknown to be lost in the masses, are then shoulder tapped by said boss… yeah, nah, surely not, nothing to see here… not even a little paranoia😉

*One of these things is not like the other…*

A dehydrated, hungover visit to S-21 on a day pushing 40°C was, in hindsight, somewhat unwise. A struggle indeed!

But not even mention-worthy really, compared to the struggles that went on here.

*Unpleasant photos but worthy of sharing*

Now, imagine this…

Some of the Dunts’ best massages have been down dodgy back alleys, given by century-old, partly toothed, wrinkled up, one armed, withered women. This one was not that.

A main road joint advertising too cheap to be true massage deals, sucking ol’ Sarge straight in like a Dunt to a cold beer. One of the worst massages in the history of mankind was had.

But it’s this next part where the story gets a little bit funky.

It wasn’t until paying for dinner later that night that the repercussions of that massage came to light.

The restaurant would not accept Sarge’s hard-earned cash in exchange for his yummy dinner, and for good reason too.

Sarge had unwittingly attempted to pay with a fake US$100 note.

Imagine the bewildered drunk conversations, head-scratching as to the who, what, where, when, why and how this was even happening.

But sure enough, there it was right there at the bottom of the note, the word ‘copy’.

How could this be? It was only withdrawn from the ATM across the road a few hours earlier.

Conversations were had with restaurant staff and other customers who spoke of a possible explanation to this mystery. Dodgy massage parlours that, not only steal cash from wallets, but also exchange fake notes for genuine notes.

Surely not!

Sarge had placed his valuables inside a lockable cupboard inside the same room as his massage, even locking it and removing the key.

Nobody entered the room, leaving only him and the worst massage therapist in the history of the entire world, ever… unless, there was a false back to the cupboard that could be accessed from the next room.

Dwelling upon it later, Sarge reckoned he knew how Dr. David Banner from The Incredible Hulk felt during his transformation stage.

Sarge may have got a little bit angry.

Sarge did not turn green though (not counting the following day’s hangover).

The other Dunts offered genuinely wise pieces of advice like ‘Sit down man’, ‘Have another beer, dude’, ‘Let it go, bro’, and, ‘Definitely, do not go back there because you may die!’.

Sarge loves sitting down.

As for having another beer, well that’s one of his favourite things in the whole wide world.

And apart from one world cup poisoning incident, he has throughout his life let quite a few things go.

He’s also never been real keen on dying either.

But Sarge has also never been a great fan of being scammed.

So, against very sound advice, Sarge went back to the scene of the crime.

Noticing the look in their Sergeant at Arms’ eyes, President Thor and Member quickly confirmed his NOK contact details, and started working out how much refund they’ll receive from hotel rooms should he die.

Exactly what went on during Sarge’s return to the scene of the crime remains a mystery to this day.

One particular rumour said he stopped off to grab a massage therapist sized coffin.

There were whisperings of frantic calls made and text messages sent, resulting in Sarge exiting somewhat astutely.

But what remains living legend in the Da Nang Dunts history is that Sarge returned with his original genuine US$100 note… and, both he, and his note, were intact, untorn, and very much not dead.

The celebration was large and long and, overtly alcohol fuelled.

Later, much later, in fact, a drunken Sarge did something he immediately regretted.

Forgetting his note was the paper American denomination cash and not the un-rippable Australian equivalent, he ripped that now infamous note, almost completely in two.

He knew all too well that in many parts of Asia, this note would now, in essence, be worthless.

His glowing smile immediately dissipated and his heart sank.

His mates got him another beer and as quickly as his smile faded, it returned with great gusto, until he woke up the next morning with a sore head.

Sarge does not like hangovers, especially on travel day.

*A great night, although the morning after wasn’t*

But, like many events our Dunt characters deal with, it all just adds to the story along the way.

The following day felt like time to move on, so a struggling six-hour cab ride to Siem Reap ensued. Six hours is a very very long time to spend in a taxi when feeling Hulk green and trying hard not to vomit.

But Siem Reap does have Pub Street!

1. The Da Nang Dunts, est. 2023

The seeds were already planted but it took a conversation in a hallway for them to sprout into fruition.

“Hey bro, me and Ivan are going to the Philippines and Vietnam, soon.”

“Oh man, that’s’ cool as. Can I come too… please?”

“Um, yeah, ok, I guess.”

“Cool, cos now there’s three people, we’re actually pretty much a gang, ya know. I’m the new dude, so I’ll be the member, cos every gang’s gotta have at least one member. And, that’s actually gunna be my gang name too, Member. Yep, call me Member from now on bro, ok! One of you will be president and the other, sergeant at arms. Just need to come up with a cool gang name and patch. I’ll design a patch, man. It’s as good a task as any for a new member. We’ll hire scooters in Asia and cruise the streets and then we’ll pretty much be a bikie gang.”

“Yeah righto, Member.”

And with that conversation the German Nation began… Argh, bloody auto correct!

And with that conversation, the germination began. The previously mentioned seeds, of what was to become the ‘Da Nang Dunts’ took root and started to grow. More about that down the track.

The Da Nang Dunts patch, designed in full by Member

Three middle aged dudes, all of whom had previously worked together on Straddie. Some would argue, sometimes they even carried on like cops, whilst others may swear they’ve witnessed them share a beer or two over the years.

One was practically mental (or at least that way inclined… nah, actually, he was already full mental).

One had lost his wife a year earlier and was arguable equally as mental. He’d actually been known as The Mentalist on more than one occasion.

And the other dude was actually a really brainy sensible fella who’d lost his father a month before flying out.

What could go wrong, right? Well, at least they had a brainy dude amongst them.

It all started way back though, when, as an act of mate-ship, the mental dude offered to travel with the widowed dude, following the widowed dude becoming a widow.

If you’re confused by previous sentence, imagine how the author feels.

Anywhere in the world was open for consideration, but with the mental dude having spent a substantial amount of time in South East Asia, this was the obvious ideal destination. The mental dude is also somewhat of a war nut and any travel involving him is based around war history. Plenty of history all throughout that region, but Vietnam became the ultimate main destination. A stopover was also included in Manila, Philippines, so in essence, experiencing two countries.

Due to already gained knowledge (not wisdom, nup, definitely not wisdom) and previous experiences in the area, it really was a no brainer to name the mental dude as the President and therefore, by default the widowed dude as the Sergeant at Arms.

For clarification purposes later on, the president was also gifted another name: Thor. Without going into too many details about why, let’s just say it involved a massive hammer, of sorts.

The widowed dude inherited Sarge.

Member was only ever Member because, as per his hallway conversation, every gang’s gotta have a member… plus he chose it.

To become a member in a gang though, especially this particularly cool gang, one is not simply gifted a cool name like Member and a subsequent gang membership, by right. No way! No matter how bad one yearns for it, one must earn it, and my word, did Member earn his name or what! Just wow! That’s later though.

So, back in March 2023, one mental president known as Thor, one sarge who’s not actually a real sarge and one member called Member got on a plane and flew to Manila.

It is this part of the story where the seedlings start to really come alive. Building, strengthening, growing.

Airside = beerside, Brisbane International Airport looking fresh faced and excited

They had a really good time, didn’t get up to any mischief at all and flew home afterwards. The end.

As if you, the reader, would let the author get away with such an ending. So with that in mind…

The Manila leg turned out to be a great little stopover. The ideal intro into the ‘thug life’, that this newly formed gang of ruthless hooligans were learning to live by.

For example, to help save the environment, 7-Eleven customers in Manila are invited to bring their own shopping bag… but only on Wednesdays. One would be foolish to take their own bag, Thursdays through Tuesdays. But not the Da Nang Dunts though. Well, not the Da Nang Dunts, if they actually had their own bags, but if they did, they would’ve taken them every single day of the week. Hard core, aye.

The Filipinos are known to be very polite, friendly people and this really did prove to be the case.

Keeping in mind that Manila is a large city though, and as with most large cities, there’s also a lot of poverty and subsequent homeless living on the streets. The warnings about pick pocketing are for good reason, including young children working the trade exceptionally well. Be wary of this, especially at night, should you ever visit.

One of Sarge’s favourite memories was a group of young street-kids playing soccer with a shoe as their ball. On a busy downtown street corner, their pure joy was beautiful to see. Anyone would’ve thought they were playing with a real ball on the hallowed turf of Goodison Park. Any readers who don’t know Goodison Park, no dramas, because the author didn’t know either. Thor does though.

A common trait in Manila is placing wet tissues over freshly opened beers

Thor loves taking his mates to Aussie pubs, probably for rego checks actually

Thor looking exceptionally worried that Member isn’t trying to kiss him too

The gang contributed substantially to the Philippines gross national income in this bar with Jager alone

Sometimes eating street food is a great experience.

Hungry work being a ruffian, so BBQ street food is crucial

Sometimes eating street food is not a great experience.

In Manila, it is also not recommended to get a massage at the same place Member went. That is, of course, unless you’re trying to blend your back into your faded red t-shirt.

Bikie gangs always check out other dude’s bikes, especially when those bikes come with heaps of beer. Although the Da Nang Dunts were technically not yet a bikie gang, because they didn’t actually have any motorcycles, being the rebels they were, they didn’t even care.

Bikie gangs (in the making) also enjoy taking photos of uniquely cut hotel curtains too.

The Da Nang Dunts spent a total of three days in Manila, and they loved it. Should they ever return to the Philippines, they would however choose another destination.

Well, that’s it for now folks. Be sure to subscribe so as not to miss these scoundrels in their next stop, Vietnam.

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