beer – Woodstock's blog

6. The Da Nang Dunts – Luang Prabang, Laos

Laos, for the first time on their travels, was a new country for all three of our rapscallions. Therefore, no need to keep a keen lookout for three-legged children resembling President Thor.

It’s the small things in life.

Like some previous stops, such as S-21 and Angkor Wat, Luang Prabang is a UNESCO World Heritage site.

Much like the Dunts, suitable words to describe Luang Prabang, are quaint and cute.

As remarkable as this little town is, it is now forever known as the town that stole Sarge’s undies. That’s yet to unfold though.

An old, weathered pickup truck with a black exterior and substantial rust patches, parked beside colorful greenery and flowering plants. — *If the Dunts weren’t a bikie gang and were instead a car-ie gang, they’d drive this*

Luang Prabang also has beer too.

Some of their beers even say enticing things like ‘finest ingredients, limited edition, artists edition’. To be honest, the Dunts don’t need much enticing for beer. But they’re very much not against enticing.

Close-up of a Luang Prabang beer bottle featuring an artist edition label with a vintage illustration of buildings

Three men sitting at a table in a restaurant, enjoying drinks and food. One man is smiling and holding a beer, another man is drinking from a glass, while the third is partially turned away. The setting includes plants and a casual dining atmosphere. — *The Dunts have been known to enjoy a beer or many*

Not all beers had such lovely words, but the Dunts would drink them anyway because they’ve never really been racist against beer. Any beer really.

Not all heroes wear capes, right.

Like previous countries they’d toured, the Dunts appreciated the historic culture.

Things like Buddhist shrines built into natural rock walls where locals would not only stop off randomly to pray, but also leave gifts.

A rocky hillside featuring multiple golden sculptures and shrines, adorned with flowers and offerings. — *A rock wall and man-made shrine complimenting each other in central Luang Prabang*

Admiring man-made shrines is always better after a feed.

I’ll have whatever that is, please…

A menu item featuring Lao cuisine, specifically a traditional dish called 'Or larm' (pork stew) with ingredients like spicy woody vine, lemongrass, mushrooms, eggplant, beans, and spicy vegetables. The price is displayed as 79,000 kip.

A bowl made from a coconut shell containing a savory meat and vegetable dish, garnished with herbs, accompanied by a plate of white rice.

And for dessert, I’ll have that, please…

Washed down with that, please…

A group of three men sitting at a table with drinks in a casual bar setting, with other patrons in the background. — *Luang Prabang does have a significant backpackers, element, and three Dunts*

Three men sitting at a table with dishes and drinks, overlooking a river and mountains in the background. — *Breakfast on the Mekong River included with accommodation*

Of the three Dunts, one really digs zenning, one really digs cats and one really digs his undies not being stolen.

The first full day in Luang Prabang wasn’t about stolen undies or even cuddling cats, for that matter.

It was about zenning at waterfalls.

And cuddling bears.

Twenty-nine kilometres south of Luang Prabang are the stunning Kuang Si Falls.

One can’t miss the bear rescue centre known as Tat Kuang Si, at the very entrance to the falls.

Tat Kuang Si is dedicated to protecting Asia’s black bears, particularly the moon and sun bears.

The Dunts dig that.

Image showing a black bear named Belle, with a split view: the top shows Belle in a cage labeled 'Before', and the bottom shows her relaxed and healthy after rescue, labeled 'After'. — *The Dunts dig all kinds of bears, including beers*

A black bear standing near a wooden structure in a forested area, surrounded by green foliage and dried leaves on the ground. — *The Dunts dig all kinds of bears, including beers*

A person in a black shirt and shorts hugs a life-sized bear statue in front of a painted forest backdrop. — *I love you, man*

A man posing with a life-sized bear sculpture in a forest-themed setting, wearing a black shirt and beige shorts. — *I love you, man*

Three men posing beside bear sculptures in a forest setting, with informational plaques visible. — *Similar to the Dunts not being racist about beers, they also don’t care what colour bears they cuddle*

Unfortunately, there are no photos of President Thor zenning, so the Dunts recommend using your imagination.

Lush green landscape featuring tiered waterfalls cascading into turquoise pools, with people enjoying the natural scenery.

A group of people relaxing on a wooden float in a serene green river, with lush vegetation surrounding them. Some are sitting on the float, while others are swimming in the water.

People enjoying a visit to a scenic waterfall surrounded by lush greenery, with wooden bridges crossing over turquoise waters. — *Difficult to zen here with so many tourists, but as President Thor can attest, it is possible*

Zen zone

After much zenning and bear statue cuddling, our travelling heathens headed back into the big smoke of Luang Prabang, via a couple of picturesque little cafes, including The Bamboo Farm Restaurant.

A decorative bamboo structure shaped like a heart, featuring the sign 'Bamboo Farm,' situated near a lake with mountains in the background. — *With the Mekong River in the background*

And the amazing Full House Cafe in a small village called Ban Thin Som.

When travelling in Southeast Asian heat with minimal luggage, doing the laundry is a must.

Sometimes the Dunts’ wash their own, but sometimes, they splash out and pay to have it done.

Having one’s undies come back crisp, clean, folded and smelling all fresh like lavender or roses, is often one of their small pleasantries.

Now it goes without saying that any bikie gang can smell of body odour, stale sweat, stale beer, old dirt roads, blood, and often even, poos and wees. Believe me when I tell you, the Dunts’ are all over that shit.

But they do consider themselves somewhat civilised bikies and very much enjoy clean undies.

This one time (without a flute) at Luang Prabang, their laundry came back washed.

Sarge was missing a few pairs of undies though. Six to be exact.

He’d also gained a couple of pairs that weren’t his.

Member was happy to become the owner of those that weren’t Sarge’s.

Black men's briefs with a red waistband labeled 'ALPHA' on a white background. — *Group chat, ‘Oi, are any of these gruds yours?’*

Close-up of black underwear with a turquoise 'BONDS' waistband, resting on a light-colored surface. — *Group chat, ‘Oi, are any of these gruds yours?’*

Sarge remains unsure whether the ones Member took off his hands were even his or whether he’s an astute closet undies collector.

Ultimately, Sarge came to the conclusion that there was an undies thief in the town.

Initial enquiries came to no avail.

Undies shops in Luang Prabang are not a dime a dozen, which of course gives good reason as to why someone would steal Sarge’s undies.

With the counterfeit USD$100 scam still fresh in his memory, many things were going through Sarge’s head.

Things like whether the undie thief stole his undies before or after they were washed, whether they had already fled the country, possibly even on a fake passport?

Sarge doesn’t think stealing someone’s undies is very cool at all.

In fact, Sarge thinks it sucks shit.

After much angst, he came to the conclusion that he did not have the time, nor the effort, to hunt a real life undie thief in Luang Prabang, Laos.

He could always ask his fellow gang members to share their undies with him, because that’s what brotherhoods do.

Knowing his brothers like he does though, Sarge did not ask them. He’s pretty confident they’d share their undies with him, but only their dirty ones.

He was gunna have to survive the rest of the trip on rationed undies.

If that meant wearing them inside out and backwards over many days, then so be it.

“Yeah, watch this, Undie Thief! The joke’s on you, man, ’cause I’m into that shit!”

Three men making funny faces while sitting at a bar, one holding a beer bottle.

The following days’ venture saw them wolf-packing away to the famous Pak Ou Caves, home to Tham Ting and Tham Phum.

A decent motorcycle ride was well worth the experience for a few reasons including the fact it’s a centuries-old, highly revered Buddhist pilgrimage site, with over 4000 miniature Buddha statues left by worshippers, including royalty.

Two men taking a selfie on a motorcycle in a street setting, with a shop in the background and a child walking nearby. — *(kinda) pilgrimaging*

But first they must get there.

Getting there can sometimes include stopping off for hops intake.

Hops intaking can, on occasion, be at random dusty little bar-type places that the Dunts still aren’t sure whether they’re actual bars, or if the locals just felt sorry for the visiting dehydrated giant gang members and provided them with beer out of sympathy.

Why the term ‘giants’ you may ask… well, in this particular rough as guts, desert-like place, it’s a bonus to be a midget when grabbing a beer, because there’s far less chance your head will be decapitated.

So as not to become inebriated and ultimately lose one’s head, may be why they were only served Coke instead of beer.

A man posing with a backpack, wearing sunglasses and a black t-shirt, is playfully stepping outside through a natural pathway surrounded by greenery and colorful flowers. — *Any giant humans would not want to walk into this place drunk on a dark night*

A person walking along a pathway surrounded by greenery and flowers, wearing a black t-shirt, shorts, and a backpack. — *Any giant humans would not want to walk into this place drunk on a dark night*

An old, rustic building with a corrugated metal roof surrounded by greenery and plants, featuring a dirt pathway leading to the entrance. — *An oasis*

A rustic outdoor market stall with a wooden structure, featuring a display of goods including beverages and snacks. A person is standing behind the counter, while tables and chairs are set up for visitors. The area is surrounded by greenery and has a dirt floor. — *An oasis*

Decapitation isn’t the only hazard the Dunts experienced that day.

There was also wildlife, and not so wild-life.

A person riding an elephant on a road, while another person on a scooter holds a phone, capturing the scene. Lush greenery is visible in the background. — *The Dunts dig elephants but unfortunately, their mode of transport was horsepower and not elephantpower*

A person riding a scooter on a rural road, with an elephant and its rider visible in the background. — *The Dunts dig elephants but unfortunately, their mode of transport was horsepower and not elephantpower*

A person wearing a blue shirt and helmet rides a scooter on a dirt road, where several cows are grazing and wandering nearby. — *President Thor and Member, although tempted, did not stop to milk cows or eat the still attached steaks, and instead weaved right through these road hazards*

Between random bars and animal hazards, it’s always refreshing to pull off to the side of the road and perform gang signs. You know, like dogs leaving their scent.

Three men wearing helmets making playful gestures while on motorcycles with a scenic river and mountains in the background.

With only a river between them and the Pak Ou Caves, time for a beer, a feed and then one of the Dunts’ favourite pastimes, checking out jars.

Two glass bottles containing snakes submerged in yellow liquid, displayed on a patterned fabric background. — *Going off the cork, one would assume these are quality products*

A glass bottle containing a mixture of preserved animals, including a snake and a scorpion, submerged in a golden liquid, placed on a patterned textile surface.

A glass bottle filled with a yellowish liquid containing dark, spiraled objects that resemble snakes or snake-like elements, alongside some wooden sticks, set on a patterned fabric background.

A variety of bottles containing different colored liquids, including several with snakes and other creatures, arranged on a patterned fabric. The display includes labels indicating the contents. — *Not wanting to risk leaving faeces in their undies or vomiting on Buddhist temples, the Dunts didn’t purchase any snake venom*

A man sitting at a table with a bottle of beer, overlooking a sandy beach and mountains in the background. — *The Pak Ou Caves across the river*

A close-up view of a plate of stir-fried noodles with vegetables, including carrots and green peppers, garnished with lime slices and sprinkled with red pepper flakes. — *The Pak Ou Caves across the river*

A scenic view of a riverbank with a small village nestled at the foot of a large, rocky mountain under a clear blue sky. — *Looking back towards the ‘snake jar, beer and feed’ town*

And then there was the temple.

And it’s toilet…

An old outdoor restroom building featuring three worn wooden doors, with a partially covered thatched roof and dry leaves on top.

An indoor bathroom with a dirty tiled floor, featuring a squat toilet and a water basin sitting next to a shallow pool of water. — *Quite a nice toilet, actually*

As their time in the undies stealing town of Luang Prabang came to an end, our three not-so-wise men had one final night to live it up.

They lived it up by having a feed and eating ice cream.

And scoring cool hand-made in front of you souvenirs.

A group of three men sitting at a wooden table under a covered structure near a lake, with mountains and greenery in the background. — *Thank you, Luang Prabang, you were great… except for the undies-stealing part*

With their final stop of the 2024 Da Nang Dunts tour being Vietnam, they said Laa kon to Laos and Xin chào to Hanoi.

5. The Da Nang Dunts – Siem Reap, Cambodia

With both Pub Street and Angkor Wat calling, our three wandering rascals survived the six-hour taxi ride to Siem Reap. Two thirds of the gang enjoyed those six hours more than the other third.

But arrive they did, and it’s always a pleasant surprise to find that your previously booked hotel is actually surprisingly nice.

A luxurious bedroom featuring a large bed with decorative pillows, a wooden bench, and elegant bedding accented with gold. To the right, there is a seating area with two chairs and a wooden table, along with a modern bathroom visible in the background. — *One of the better hotels had along the way at one of the lesser prices*

Aerial view of a hotel courtyard featuring a swimming pool with dolphin designs, surrounded by lounge chairs, tropical plants, and a patio area with tables under palm-like structures. — *One of the better hotels had along the way at one of the lesser prices*

Being hung over can be thirsty work, but these boys are cunning and sniffed out hydrating stops with ease. Thirsts were quenched.

Three men posing for a selfie at night on Pub Street, showcasing vibrant neon lights and a bustling street scene in the background. — *Unsure what sort of businesses were on Pub Street, the gang went to check*

(Not so) bright and early the following day, the Da Nang Dunts hit the road to where Angelina Jolie filmed Lara Croft: Tomb Raider at Angkor Wat 25 years earlier.

A person wearing a helmet is sitting on a motorcycle, checking their phone, dressed in a blue shirt and patterned pants, on a street with various buildings and vehicles in the background. — *The Dunts’ fearless leader, President Thor*

Mirroring ‘The Black Widows’ in Clint Eastwood’s Every Which Way, But Loose, film, the Dunts hit the road and, remarkably, even found their way there.

But first, they took a pit stop.

A man wearing a blue helmet and sunglasses sitting outdoors, sipping from a coconut through a straw, with colorful umbrellas in the background. — *Not even one hop was used in this rehydration stop*

A freshly opened green coconut with soft white flesh exposed and liquid inside, placed on a pink table. — *Not even one hop was used in this rehydration stop*

And then there was Angkor Wat.

At US$62 for a three-day pass to the Angkor Archaeological Park, it’s not overly expensive, but considering the Dunts could’ve purchased 31 cocktails each, at happy hour, for the same price, splashing out that much was not a decision made lightly.

An interior view of an ancient stone structure featuring a long hallway with multiple doorways, stone benches, and a prominent statue of a figure on the right. — *Built in the 12th century, Angkor Wat’s legacy is comparable to that of The Da Nang Dunts*

Ruins of ancient temple complex with stone structures, stairs, and detailed carvings under a clear blue sky. — *Built in the 12th century, Angkor Wat’s legacy is comparable to that of The Da Nang Dunts*

Four young girls dressed in traditional attire are gathered in an ancient temple setting, with two girls sitting on steps, one girl adjusting her clothing, and two girls standing closely together, one looking at a phone. — *Local young girls there for their own photo shoot*

Two men standing side by side with their hands on their hearts, wearing gray t-shirts, in front of a textured wall. — *Part of a weird sound test, not the Da Nang Dunts National Anthem*

Two men standing side by side against a stone wall; one wearing sunglasses and a blue shirt with patterned pants, and the other wearing a beige shirt and dark pants, both with hands over their hearts. — *Part of a weird sound test, not the Da Nang Dunts National Anthem*

Three men sitting on a stone wall by a body of water, with ancient temple structures visible in the background.

Three men standing on a pathway in front of Angkor Wat, with palm trees and temple structures visible in the background.

Three men posing for a selfie with ancient temple ruins in the background, greenery visible in the distance. — *One of The Da Nang Dunts’ promotionals posters*

A vibrant sunset over a temple complex, featuring intricate architecture with tall spires, surrounded by lush greenery and a reflective body of water in the foreground. — *A local artist’s painting, remaining to this day, rolled up somewhere* *unknown*

Close-up of a soda can with a tab and condensation on the surface. — *Old school beer can tab*

Whatever day of the year it was, it just so happened to be one of the 365 days of the year that Pub Street was open.

It would’ve been rude of the Dunts not to return and support the Cambodian economy.

The Dunts don’t like being rude so they supported the Cambodian economy very, very, very well.

But first, one must prepare with food, pool beers and pulling faces.

Plate of bruschetta topped with diced tomatoes and fresh basil, featuring toasted bread slices. — *Pub Street preparations in full swing*

A plate of rice topped with a fried egg and a serving of stir-fried chicken with basil, green onions, and chili peppers. — *Pub Street preparations in full swing*

At $2 a cocktail, the Dunts had never felt richer.

Rather than try a drink, the Dunts tried all of them and still came away with cash in their pockets.

The Dunts love Pub Street!

Three men posing for a selfie at a rooftop location with a vibrant cityscape in the background, featuring colorful lights and busy streets.

Two men smiling while sitting at a table with colorful cocktails in a lively bar setting, decorated with lights and greenery.

A vibrant cocktail served in a glass with ice, garnished with a slice of lime and a green straw, resting on a textured surface.

On Pub Street, one can enjoy a drink at an outside bar, while people-watching and having a fish pedicure. That’s Doctor Fish (Garra Rufa) eating away the dead skin.

The Dunts dig all that stuff but they did not want to be responsible for the fish dying, so went to bars without the fish-eating-feet experience.

It may have been around this time, or maybe a little later, that the Dunts came to the conclusion that late at night in Siem Reap, weird things can happen.

Three men smiling and posing for a selfie at night, with colorful lights and a bustling scene in the background. — *Sometimes late at night, Thor has itchy nipples*

A man standing next to a colorful rooster statue, wearing a grey shirt and patterned pants, with flip-flops on a tiled floor. — *Sometimes late at night, Member finds random cocks to play with*

A man holding a microphone while sitting in a colorful, lively setting with decorative items and a backdrop featuring artwork. — *Sometimes late at night, Member* *impersonates strangled cats*

Two men in a colorful bar setting, one sitting and looking serious while the other playfully leans in behind him, holding a drink. — *Sometimes late at night, Member gives Sarge sexy looks while Thor licks his lips and cuddles Member*

A man kneeling on one knee is proposing to a woman in a casual setting, with a joyful expression on her face. The background features soft lighting and colorful decorations. — *Sometimes late at night, Member is an environmentalist and recycles beer can tabs*

A close-up of a person’s hand receiving a ring from another person, with jewelry and a brightly lit background. — *Sometimes late at night, Member is an environmentalist and recycles beer can tabs*

And possibly… very probably, in fact, the weirdest thing that happened late that night in Siem Reap, was on the way home.

The Dunts stopped off for one last beer at a pop-up trolley bar, somewhere unknown.

A free, very weird, live sex show thing unfolded before the Dunts’ now blurry eyes.

The Dunts didn’t want anything to do with this exhibition.

They even felt embarrassed just being there.

So they took some photos.

Because seriously, who on earth wears a sun hat at night?

A smiling man in a casual shirt sits in a dimly lit setting, with colorful lighting. In the background, two women are seated, one wearing a floral outfit and another in a large hat. — *Sometimes late at night, superhero outfits are different*

A group of five people socializing at a bar in a lively setting with colorful lighting. One person is taking a selfie, while others are seated at a table with drinks. — *Sometimes late at night, superhero outfits are different*

With hard-core motorbikes hired and more famous ruins yet to be experienced, our night-dwellers, the ones with penises but without sunhats, became day-dwellers venturing out to the ancient stone temples once again.

Doing their Easy Rider thing, the Dunts putted throughout the Angkor Archaeological Park, taking in…

Ta Prohm…

A large tree with thick, gnarled roots enveloping an ancient stone structure, surrounded by foliage and a wooden pathway.

A group of tourists gathered in front of ancient temple ruins overtaken by large tree roots in a lush green environment.

Bayon Temple…

Ancient temple ruins surrounded by lush trees and palm trees, with a misty sky in the background.

Three men wearing helmets pose for a selfie while on scooters, with ancient temple ruins visible in the background surrounded by trees.

Preah Khan Temple…

A person wearing a maroon cap is taking a selfie inside a stone structure, holding a hand in a gesture above their head. The background shows other visitors and stone walls.

View through a stone archway leading to a temple tower, featuring intricate carvings and a pathway of weathered stone slabs.

A man posing inside a historical temple, holding his hand up as if supporting a glowing light above a stone structure. The temple features ancient stone walls and several tourists in the background.

And, amongst others, the South Gate of Angkor Thom

Historic stone gate with faces carved into it, surrounded by trees, with a motorcycle passing through. — *Very cool*

An adult man wearing a gray t-shirt and patterned pants walks alongside a young boy dressed in a black jacket and bright shorts, engaged in conversation on a sandy path surrounded by trees. — *Can I have your autograph please, President Thor?*

Some before and afters…

A woman wearing a colorful shirt sits on a red chair, working on the carcass of a pig laid out on a metal frame. Pliers are positioned on the pig, and there are various tools and items visible in the background. — *Before*

A whole roasted pig hanging on a grill, with various cuts of meat and sausages displayed on the grate below. — *Before*

Another…

A spotted black and white chicken standing on dirt near discarded plastic bottles and debris. — *Before*

A row of whole chickens being roasted on a spit over an open flame, with a shiny, golden-brown skin. — *After*

And yet another before and after…

A menu displaying spa package options with details on duration and pricing for various treatments including body scrubs, massages, facials, and aromatherapy. — *Before*

A person receiving a massage on a table, smiling, while another person, dressed in shorts, provides the massage in a dimly lit room. — *After*

With one final night in Siem Reap, the three scallywags did what they do best, eating…

A person holding a fried frog leg, with a plate of garnished fried frog legs in the background. — *The Dunts love Cambodian food*

A bowl of rich and aromatic soup with yellow broth, featuring sliced vegetables and herbs on top. — *The Dunts love Cambodian food*

And, drinking…

A menu displaying a selection of signature cocktails with names, ingredients, and prices, including items like Passion Eclipse, Rosselle Vintage, Sparkle, Spicy Cuke, Rice Paradise, and 43 Smash. — *The Dunts also love Cambodian cocktails, even if they did have to splash out $5, sometimes even $6*

Close-up of a cocktail glass containing a yellow drink, garnished with a red chili pepper and fresh herbs, set on a wooden surface. — *The Dunts also love Cambodian cocktails, even if they did have to splash out $5, sometimes even $6*

A close-up of a wrapped sugar packet with the text 'Ultimate Sugar' and an expiration code 'EXP040270' printed on it, placed on a woven surface. — *1970 may be an expiry date for some Cambodian sugar, but for others, its President Thor’s birth year, so is therefore, wonderful*

Cambodia was great, but it’s not natural to hold bikie gangs like the Da Nang Dunts down for long.

So they did the Rolling Stone thing and found a plane to take them north to a neighbouring Laos.

An airplane is parked at an airport gate during twilight, with ground crew loading baggage onto the aircraft. Mountains are visible in the background. — *Farewell Cambodia*

So it’s Lea heuy to Cambodia and Sabaidee to Laos.

4. The Da Nang Dunts – Phnom Penh, Cambodia

Having previously visited Cambodia, President Thor again took lead and booked his motley crew into somewhere unknown in Phnom Penh.

Uncoincidentally, there was a dodgy Aussie Bar across the road from the hotel.

As is the norm in South-East Asia, there were the inevitable bar girls serving beers. All lovely of course, including a deaf-mute young lady who naturally didn’t speak a word of English, or even Cambodian, as far as the Dunts were aware.

Realising a slight flaw in Thor’s planning stage by not having taken extracurricular deaf-language studies, the Da Nang Dunts ventured outwards, hunting memories to make.

*A lady of the night receiving a late-night delivery of plants for her place of employment*

*Two different, but very real elements of Phnom Penh life in one photo*

The Phnom Penh stay was short but still included at least one extremely good night out resulting in one extremely bad hangover, one cunning scam, and of course, the very sobering, Killing Fields.

Sombre sufferings from liquid abuse the night before dissipated when visiting Tuol Sleng Genocide Museum, or, as it’s also known, the Khmer Rouge prison S-21.

Tens of thousands lost their lives with only a very few surviving, the last two being Chum Mey and Bou Meng.

Meeting them both was a privilege the Dunts still value greatly.

Please, read their stories. What happened in Cambodia then remains a sad blight on humanity.

Now, some would argue the following is paranoia, some not. But when three dudes, all of whom worked together under the same boss, flee to places unknown to be lost in the masses, are then shoulder tapped by said boss… yeah, nah, surely not, nothing to see here… not even a little paranoia😉

*One of these things is not like the other…*

A dehydrated, hungover visit to S-21 on a day pushing 40°C was, in hindsight, somewhat unwise. A struggle indeed!

But not even mention-worthy really, compared to the struggles that went on here.

*Unpleasant photos but worthy of sharing*

Now, imagine this…

Some of the Dunts’ best massages have been down dodgy back alleys, given by century-old, partly toothed, wrinkled up, one armed, withered women. This one was not that.

A main road joint advertising too cheap to be true massage deals, sucking ol’ Sarge straight in like a Dunt to a cold beer. One of the worst massages in the history of mankind was had.

But it’s this next part where the story gets a little bit funky.

It wasn’t until paying for dinner later that night that the repercussions of that massage came to light.

The restaurant would not accept Sarge’s hard-earned cash in exchange for his yummy dinner, and for good reason too.

Sarge had unwittingly attempted to pay with a fake US$100 note.

Imagine the bewildered drunk conversations, head-scratching as to the who, what, where, when, why and how this was even happening.

But sure enough, there it was right there at the bottom of the note, the word ‘copy’.

How could this be? It was only withdrawn from the ATM across the road a few hours earlier.

Conversations were had with restaurant staff and other customers who spoke of a possible explanation to this mystery. Dodgy massage parlours that, not only steal cash from wallets, but also exchange fake notes for genuine notes.

Surely not!

Sarge had placed his valuables inside a lockable cupboard inside the same room as his massage, even locking it and removing the key.

Nobody entered the room, leaving only him and the worst massage therapist in the history of the entire world, ever… unless, there was a false back to the cupboard that could be accessed from the next room.

Dwelling upon it later, Sarge reckoned he knew how Dr. David Banner from The Incredible Hulk felt during his transformation stage.

Sarge may have got a little bit angry.

Sarge did not turn green though (not counting the following day’s hangover).

The other Dunts offered genuinely wise pieces of advice like ‘Sit down man’, ‘Have another beer, dude’, ‘Let it go, bro’, and, ‘Definitely, do not go back there because you may die!’.

Sarge loves sitting down.

As for having another beer, well that’s one of his favourite things in the whole wide world.

And apart from one world cup poisoning incident, he has throughout his life let quite a few things go.

He’s also never been real keen on dying either.

But Sarge has also never been a great fan of being scammed.

So, against very sound advice, Sarge went back to the scene of the crime.

Noticing the look in their Sergeant at Arms’ eyes, President Thor and Member quickly confirmed his NOK contact details, and started working out how much refund they’ll receive from hotel rooms should he die.

Exactly what went on during Sarge’s return to the scene of the crime remains a mystery to this day.

One particular rumour said he stopped off to grab a massage therapist sized coffin.

There were whisperings of frantic calls made and text messages sent, resulting in Sarge exiting somewhat astutely.

But what remains living legend in the Da Nang Dunts history is that Sarge returned with his original genuine US$100 note… and, both he, and his note, were intact, untorn, and very much not dead.

The celebration was large and long and, overtly alcohol fuelled.

Later, much later, in fact, a drunken Sarge did something he immediately regretted.

Forgetting his note was the paper American denomination cash and not the un-rippable Australian equivalent, he ripped that now infamous note, almost completely in two.

He knew all too well that in many parts of Asia, this note would now, in essence, be worthless.

His glowing smile immediately dissipated and his heart sank.

His mates got him another beer and as quickly as his smile faded, it returned with great gusto, until he woke up the next morning with a sore head.

Sarge does not like hangovers, especially on travel day.

*A great night, although the morning after wasn’t*

But, like many events our Dunt characters deal with, it all just adds to the story along the way.

The following day felt like time to move on, so a struggling six-hour cab ride to Siem Reap ensued. Six hours is a very very long time to spend in a taxi when feeling Hulk green and trying hard not to vomit.

But Siem Reap does have Pub Street!

Five months…

Hey y’all,

A bunch of peeps been messaging me, so to save me replying to all, here’s a bit of an update.

Yes, I will blog again. In fact I probably need it more now than I did before. Just haven’t quite been able to bring myself to open up to the world like I did when Marjana was here to take joy from ’em. There’s more to it than just that and technically, I’m blogging now anyway so small steps I guess.

It’s just over five months since we lost my first wife and life has sucked like a back alley $2 whore but it’s also been good like the purest of virgins too. More on this when I open up and blog properly. The good and bad I mean, not virgins and whores.

A few months ago, I took our boys back to New Zealand where we reconnected with my family and mates and the boys really dug it. That trip was sad as fuck but personally, it was more therapeutic than I thought it’d be, so fuck yeah!

The recent ‘taking these boys for a ride on a big jet plane’ facebook post relates to a planned equivalent of our NZ trip but on a far bigger scale to Croatia, with a few stopovers along the way.

We’re gone for five weeks, most of which is in Croatia catching up with our family here.

As you’d imagine, there’s moments of joy and sorrow with Marjana’s family and friends but so far it’s been awesome.

Our family here are amazing. So pure! They’ve been crucial in plugging holes from wounds of sorrow, particularly with our kids and for that I’m forever grateful.

This is without doubt a medicinal trip of healing for the three of us travellers but also for our Croatian connection. On that note, I do appreciate the fact Dilan’s boss approved a five week holiday for him when I doubt he’s got anywhere near five weeks leave built up so cheers bro.

The reason we’re actually here right now is ‘cos our niece is getting married in a couple weeks. We always knew Marjana wasn’t gunna make it but she made me promise that I’d still come… and here we are.

On a bit of a downer though, our pet sitter advised me that one of our three pets is now dead too, fuck it. So that’s a little bit shit. Kind of a last on, first off scenario so sucks to be you Bird 😞 No more deaths though please 🙏

I will blog more but just give me a bit of time please as it’s taken me five months to put this post out there. Before you know it, I’ll be back writing shit for y’all.

This blog was brought to you by the letter C for the word cunt.