1. The Da Nang Dunts, est. 2023

The seeds were already planted but it took a conversation in a hallway for them to sprout into fruition.

“Hey bro, me and Ivan are going to the Philippines and Vietnam, soon.”

“Oh man, that’s’ cool as. Can I come too… please?”

“Um, yeah, ok, I guess.”

“Cool, cos now there’s three people, we’re actually pretty much a gang, ya know. I’m the new dude, so I’ll be the member, cos every gang’s gotta have at least one member.  And, that’s actually gunna be my gang name too, Member. Yep, call me Member from now on bro, ok! One of you will be president and the other, sergeant at arms. Just need to come up with a cool gang name and patch. I’ll design a patch, man. It’s as good a task as any for a new member. We’ll hire scooters in Asia and cruise the streets and then we’ll pretty much be a bikie gang.”

“Yeah righto, Member.”

And with that conversation the German Nation began… Argh, bloody auto correct!

And with that conversation, the germination began. The previously mentioned seeds, of what was to become the ‘Da Nang Dunts’ took root and started to grow.  More about that down the track.

The Da Nang Dunts patch
The Da Nang Dunts patch, designed in full by Member

Three middle aged dudes, all of whom had previously worked together on Straddie. Some would argue, sometimes they even carried on like cops, whilst others may swear they’ve witnessed them share a beer or two over the years.

One was practically mental (or at least that way inclined… nah, actually, he was already full mental).

One had lost his wife a year earlier and was arguable equally as mental. He’d actually been known as The Mentalist on more than one occasion.

And the other dude was actually a really brainy sensible fella who’d lost his father a month before flying out.

What could go wrong, right? Well, at least they had a brainy dude amongst them.

It all started way back though, when, as an act of mate-ship, the mental dude offered to travel with the widowed dude, following the widowed dude becoming a widow.

If you’re confused by previous sentence, imagine how the author feels.

Anywhere in the world was open for consideration, but with the mental dude having spent a substantial amount of time in South East Asia, this was the obvious ideal destination. The mental dude is also somewhat of a war nut and any travel involving him is based around war history. Plenty of history all throughout that region, but Vietnam became the ultimate main destination. A stopover was also included in Manila, Philippines, so in essence, experiencing two countries.

Due to already gained knowledge (not wisdom, nup, definitely not wisdom) and previous experiences in the area, it really was a no brainer to name the mental dude as the President and therefore, by default the widowed dude as the Sergeant at Arms.

For clarification purposes later on, the president was also gifted another name: Thor. Without going into too many details about why, let’s just say it involved a massive hammer, of sorts.

The widowed dude inherited Sarge.

Member was only ever Member because, as per his hallway conversation, every gang’s gotta have a member… plus he chose it.

To become a member in a gang though, especially this particularly cool gang, one is not simply gifted a cool name like Member and a subsequent gang membership, by right. No way! No matter how bad one yearns for it, one must earn it, and my word, did Member earn his name or what! Just wow! That’s later though.

So, back in March 2023, one mental president known as Thor, one sarge who’s not actually a real sarge and one member called Member got on a plane and flew to Manila.

It is this part of the story where the seedlings start to really come alive. Building, strengthening, growing.

Airside = beerside, Brisbane International Airport looking fresh faced and excited

They had a really good time, didn’t get up to any mischief at all and flew home afterwards. The end.

As if you, the reader, would let the author get away with such an ending. So with that in mind…

The Manila leg turned out to be a great little stopover. The ideal intro into the ‘thug life’, that this newly formed gang of ruthless hooligans were learning to live by.

For example, to help save the environment, 7-Eleven customers in Manila are invited to bring their own shopping bag… but only on Wednesdays. One would be foolish to take their own bag, Thursdays through Tuesdays. But not the Da Nang Dunts though. Well, not the Da Nang Dunts, if they actually had their own bags, but if they did, they would’ve taken them every single day of the week. Hard core, aye.

Fighting the good fight

The Filipinos are known to be very polite, friendly people and this really did prove to be the case.

Keeping in mind that Manila is a large city though, and as with most large cities, there’s also a lot of poverty and subsequent homeless living on the streets. The warnings about pick pocketing are for good reason, including young children working the trade exceptionally well. Be wary of this, especially at night, should you ever visit.

One of Sarge’s favourite memories was a group of young street-kids playing soccer with a shoe as their ball. On a busy downtown street corner, their pure joy was beautiful to see. Anyone would’ve thought they were playing with a real ball on the hallowed turf of Goodison Park. Any readers who don’t know Goodison Park, no dramas, because the author didn’t know either. Thor does though.

A common trait in Manila is placing wet tissues over freshly opened beers
Thor loves taking his mates to Aussie pubs, probably for rego checks actually
Thor looking exceptionally worried that Member isn’t trying to kiss him too
The gang contributed substantially to the Philippines gross national income in this bar with Jager alone
One of the more upmarket meals enjoyed

Sometimes eating street food is a great experience.

Hungry work being a ruffian, so BBQ street food is crucial

Sometimes eating street food is not a great experience.

BBQ’d chicken intestines

In Manila, it is also not recommended to get a massage at the same place Member went. That is, of course, unless you’re trying to blend your back into your faded red t-shirt.

Bikie gangs always check out other dude’s bikes, especially when those bikes come with heaps of beer. Although the Da Nang Dunts were technically not yet a bikie gang, because they didn’t actually have any motorcycles, being the rebels they were, they didn’t even care.

Bikie gangs (in the making) also enjoy taking photos of uniquely cut hotel curtains too.

A material-istic piece of art

The Da Nang Dunts spent a total of three days in Manila, and they loved it. Should they ever return to the Philippines, they would however choose another destination.

Well, that’s it for now folks. Be sure to subscribe so as not to miss these scoundrels in their next stop, Vietnam.

#29 Appreciating the good shit

Have had a bit of time to think lately and yes it still hurts like a motherfuck when I do that thinking thing.

It would be easy to take the view that our life is pretty fucked right now.  I don’t think many could really argue that too much, considering.

But fuck that shit, man! 

Since we started this cunty cancer journey heaps of positives have come out of it.

Yeah, there’s plenty of negatives too; like my first wife having her guts ripped out, her beautiful thick hair thinning out and my guts doing the exact opposite, having to change to a way blander diet (ok, maybe not me and the boys so much but she has), dehydrating ourselves tear by tear by tear… I could go on but that’d be looking for the negatives.

In honour of all you Playschool loving kids out there today we aren’t looking through a square, round or even an arched window but a the thankful window. Gotta love those thankful windows, man.

Just like yesterday and every day prior so far, we didn’t wake up dead. That can have it’s own ‘yeehaa’.

I think this is our boy and not some Hindu dude in a temple

My first wife can be a raggety ol’ hag when she’s pissed off with me but she does have the most beautiful smile and already this morning she’s shared it with me heaps.  Not so much a couple days ago though ‘cos she was perfecting her annoyance skill.

We have also reconnected with heaps of people who we hadn’t seen for ages and we didn’t even have to die to do it.  Usually those ‘we should catch up more’ comments only really eventuate at funerals after some cunt died.

People have offered and provided so much to us as a family.  Some we have accepted, some we even accepted without even knowing we had done so until after the fact and some offers we haven’t taken up because seriously man, how the fuck do you respond to those ‘if you ever need anything let me know’ comments?  It’s kinda a hard one aye.  But to those people who still want to help us, just keep being good cunts.

Some pommy mates, yes even though they’re poms

This morning the ol’ girl was trying on heaps of old dresses that no longer fit because I’d turned into a fat cunt and she was building reserves for winter and neither of us were the skinny like worms people we used to be.  Who’d have thunk it, but all those years that her clothes had been stashed away in the hope that one day she might get bowel cancer and lose heaps of weight would finally pay off.

Because she now fits them, I don’t need to buy her new clothes.  It’s like going to the Op shop and picking clothes off the shelf for free that you already love because you already decided that when you bought them the first time around. Saves heaps of time and money and none of you sheilas even think about bringing up the ‘no longer in style’ argument because all styles (fuck even the 80s) come back into fashion. 

See what I mean about all these positives?

Since joining a bunch of online cancer groups we have again realised how lucky we actually are.  Cancer really is a cunt of a thing.  Hearing all these real life stories and experiences of how cancer has fucked good people over is so so so sad.  It certainly makes me very much appreciate that although my cook has stage four cancer, she ain’t half as fucked up as heaps of other people who have already lost loved ones or are way more fucked up and therefore have a cunt of a life as a result.

So here’s a big ass ‘FUCK YEAH’ for our situation being as good as it can be.

My steak, not yours Bella

Considering it’s Marjana’s good week she hasn’t really been the flashest to be honest and has felt a bit shit.  She still has that vertigo thing hanging around, doesn’t have heaps of energy and is a bit wonky on her feet.

But the All Blacks pulled off a bloody great effort against the Wallabies last Saturday and the Maroons came back and pipped those New South Wales Mexican bastards from south of the border in Origin One. 

The All Blacks (ABs) play the final Bledisloe Cup game at Suncorp tonight too.  Initially we weren’t gunna go ‘cos my first wife wasn’t up to it but she’s keen as so we’re off to watch that game with some good mates.

Just on that note, I seriously considered not going as a national service to my country because every single time I watch the ABs play at Suncorp they lose.  A few of my Aussie mates really want me to go for that reason alone.  Maybe I should get ’em to buy me tickets to all their test matches in the hope I am their nemesis 😉

But we have already won this year’s Bledisloe so I’m going anyway. The Wallabies will even be in with a chance tonight, not only because I’m going but also the fact the AB’s grabbed some Under 11s primary school kids to replace some of the senior All Blacks. It kinda evens it up so if the coaching staff are willing to take a chance, then so am I.

Things may change for us and all my posts won’t be this positive but for now, this beer followed by this Jagermeister is for appreciating the good things in life.

How ya going with ya chemo?