#41 Enter the blood transfusion stage

Chernobyl Day and currently sitting at hospital waiting for my first wife to piss in a jar for her fortnightly urine sample.

I’d like to think she’s having a ripper time in there all by herself but know she’s struggling. Just found out she needs her first blood transfusion and she was a little big freaked out.

Her hemoglobin is way down but unfortunately not like Elvis’s song Way Down.

I regularly give blood and know there’s always a shortage so if y’all up to it, then worth considering giving up a little. Ain’t like it’s beer or wine, man so give heaps.

Ya may even be lucky enough get a hot as fuck nurse (or maybe a raggedy ol’ ugly one) but whether she (or he) is skantily clad wearing a low cut, tight fitting top and mini skirt or not, they’ve all been really nice when I’ve gone; even the huckery ol’ ones. Plus ya get snacks and shit for free.

The lucky bastard that gets mine should be extra happy ‘cos will no doubt go away pissed from the high blood alcohol content. Just hope they’re a happy drunk and not some sad violent cunt.

Much like wives, those nurse sheilas love sucking the life out of husbands but in this case it’s for a good cause and is appreciated. If you’d like to play your part in helping save someone’s life, either phone 131495 or follow this link https://www.donateblood.com.au/.

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Fuck I am a dumb cunt though as until now, I actually thought a blood transfusion was a drip thing vacuming out old huckery blood from one arm and another machine injecting some flash as new (second hand) blood into the other arm, but apparently not.

For all you other dumb cunts like me, she gets to keep all her own blood but also gets an intravenous top up of fresh shit. Kinda like having a Berocca or for you Croatians out there a strong glass of Cedevita… actually, more like fina domaca rakija.

The word hemoglobin kinda sounds like a cool name for a ghost but it’s actually the protein in red blood cells that carries oxygen to the rest of the body. It also transports carbon dioxide out of cells and back into lungs for exhaling. Anyway, the ol’ girl’s was about 80g/L and a good count is around 115 – 160g/L, I think so she was a little bit shy of the required number. Apparently it happens with chemo so probably lucky we made it this far before needing a shot.

In hindsight, this transfusion thing was needed as she’s had a few dizzy moments of late, including just last Monday night when she got all lightheaded like I reckon she did when she first saw me.

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The reason we were out that night was to celebrate our youngest devil spawn, Dilan’s 17th birthday. It was pretty low key with just me, the cook and both kids heading out for a feed of ribs and shit. But it was an event worth celebrating and right now we’re celebrating everything we can.

The day before was Mother’s Day and we spent half that in Melbourne and the other half back home in Queensland with both devil spawn. More about Melbourne later.

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Nine days before that we celebrated our oldest devil spawn, Kodi’s 22nd birthday, which I touched on in my last blog and that too was pretty low key with just the four of us at home.

One of my best mates Biggles shares the same birthday as Kodi so we also went to the Sunny Coast and celebrated there in a big way. Fuck I loved that party, man and much like being alive, I didn’t want it to finish. Biggles is a fucking good cunt, man.

Amongst other things, we said we’re gunna buy the kids a scuba diving course for their birthdays. Haven’t paid for it yet but that’s the plan anyway. For those that haven’t been scuba diving before, that’s some good time’s right there.

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Dilan’s ankle is still rooted and needs to see a specialist so hoping a particular ligament is only partially torn and not completely snapped ‘cos that’ll suck, man.

Dilan passed his driving test yesterday and celebrated not only that but also the fact that he’s the first in our family of four to pass it first time. Fuck yeah. Saved me money on paying for a second test. Nah, well done boy.

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Although my first wife and I have been to every continent bar Antarctica we haven’t seen much of Aussie yet and took a Covid chance by booking a trip to Melbourne with another wog couple, Drago and Blansa.

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As it turned out there were no Covid cases to prevent our trip from eventuating and we had an awesome time. Absolutely love that city, man. Untold primo food that’s cheap as fuck like Wagyu steak for $39.99kg. My housewife came back with heaps of presents to give the kids for Mothers Day (oh, the irony) and I came back with a weight limit full suitcase full of raw meat.

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Travelling with a first wife with bowel cancer and half her bowel cut out is different to travelling with a first wife prior to having that cunt of a disease. Small things like when booking accommodation make sure there’s an ensuite and don’t go into a plane toilet immediately after she’s been in there.

Whether one has cancer or not, having a little thing like a big fat poo every day is quite a nice thing. Not having one sucks and even more so when you got a fucked up bowel.

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Finally, we keep getting asked how much longer Marjana needs chemo or how many more sessions there are. So, just to again clarify again, we’ve been told she needs chemo for the rest of her life. There’s no magic number or time frame so unless things change she’s on chemo until she dies. Hopefully that’s in about a million years so we really get our value for money from health insurance.

We still believe in miracles.