Time for an update. I know it’s time for an update when y’all start inundating me with messages asking for updates on the cook. So yeah, guess it’s time.
First up and quite importantly, nobody dead around here. Life is good.
Marjana’s latest hospital visit was heaps different to all others though. Mostly ’cause she was in that negative pressure room where I wasn’t allowed to visit. Just to clarify why though, she had some funky infection that needed sorting and even when that was done and dusted, they wanted her to finish a full week in isolation for being deemed a close contact.
Think I already mentioned that she came back COVID negative but hadn’t touched on the infection. There’s this thing called Escherichia coli which I think they shorten to call E. coli. If I understood correctly, it’s a bacteria that’s usually in the guts (small intestine) and my first wife’s defensive mechanisms were a bit like some recent All Black defence giving up soft points unfortunately. That E. coli shit snuck through a gap and all the way into the ol’ girl’s blood. But, all sorted now though… hopefully.
Our squirrel was released from custody on Tuesday evening and came home to slow cooked lamb shanks for dinner. She loves her comfort food aye, even if she does eat like a fantail now. Like a good Croatian mama I need to try and fatten up my good Croatian wife.
In all honesty though, she’s actually feeling pretty good, considering. There’s two main things that are always forefront in every part of our life now and that’s pain management and fatigue. Trepidation too I ‘spose, but we’re going ok.
On that note, she’s laying beside me on the couch and if anyone doesn’t believe the google results if you type in ‘Do squirrels snore’, I can vouch for the fact they do.
The ol’ Brisbane roads did the trick again, as after driving her home from hospital she needed another shit. Although that little crucial action takes heaps of her energy, she found another gear when she saw three gift baskets with heaps of goodies waiting for her. Oh man, it was like watching a kid open early morning Christmas presents. Was nice to see.
On top of that, one of me good mates from way back called Butbut, spent many an hour in her garage painting a gift. Something very cool and unique; a painting of one of my Dalmatinka’s favourite place, our local dog beach. Taken from a photo. If ya gotta have a first wife whose a little bit fucked up from cancer, it’s good to have one that appreciates these things and it’s equally as important to have people in ya life that are just real good cunts.
We got to see our surgeon Peter on Wednesday. He really is a good cunt, man. The three of us have built a pretty good partnership/friendship over the last 18 months that helped get us this far. Just a bloody good bastard who we could rely on from day one and fuck man, did it make a difference. Of all our medical team, it’s he who shines like my bald head in the sun.
He was actually surprised at how good li’l miss squirrel looked. Skinnier than when he last saw her but it was a nice to see his surprise as he last saw her pre liver stent procedure.
He gets a quote of the day but. Not because it’s funny, but because it’s a fucking good point.
Peter: Well, we did manage to get you through to enjoy two Christmases.
Finally managed to get some home improvements done again, although this time I got someone in as been a little bit busy. Just hoping the neighbours do the right thing now.
After my last blog, I’m sure there’s a few of ya wondering if my first wife is on her deathbed yet. That’d be a big fat no. In fact, in my opinion she’s got a bit to go yet. As touched on before, she’s losing weight but with pain killers and decent comfort food, things could be heaps worse.
Although I’d feel a little bad ’cause I’d feel like a Nigerian scammer, I actually hope she lives heaps more years yet. So much so that y’all start questioning if in fact these blogs are just a modern day unethical scam for mercy, coin and care. Fuck, if only right…
Sleeping Beauty just woke up and is now going through her phone to sort photos. The speed she’s working at though, she’s better pray she lives forever like Elvis as gunna need heaps of time. There’s thousands of ’em.
More enjoyable than sorting photos though, is praying a rosary every morning with our Croatian family. We’d like to think it’s helped with our cause and know it has too. Spare a thought for Marjana’s mama, brothers and their families back in The Old Country as they also try to come to terms with our stark reality in this COVID affected world. Obviously Marjana ain’t alone with us here and also y’all who continually shine the love. Technology is amazing nowadays and times like this, at least for us, are not taken for granted when you can chat live via video. It’s like magic aye. Flash as witchcraft even.
And news on my side of the family is that my ol’ lady (Mum, not wife) flies in from Auckland on Tuesday. Might not be much praying going on with her but when I let her know she can treat our kids like she treated me, Deane and Corey, I envisage there’s gunna be dirty soggy dishcloths used to clean their faces and if they aren’t within reach, she’ll be wiping their faces clean by the ol’ lick the finger and wipe the face trick. That’ll toughen the little cunts up. Hopefully she can even help with some other stuff too.
Kinda random but if anyone needs lawns mowed, give my mate Dave a call. He’s a good cunt, man and really looked after us, as he will you. Came around yesterday with his little business and made our backyard jungle look like a golf course. Not a flash as golf course, but a raggedy rough as guts one where you can drink piss and piss on trees and shit. Just the way I like it. Contact him on 0475 788 289.
Time for a quote of the day, which is a message I sent to some sheila we know who now has breast cancer. Fuck you cancer, you cunt.
Me: Hey lets go with that lumpectomy option then aye as I think you actually have a couple decent tits. No doubt, very saggy nowadays but would still be good to keep ’em attached to ya torso aye. Having said that, if they cut one off, you could then go and get a nice perky young one. Not sure what ya girl’s ones are like but could potentially model a new one off hers. You would then however, have a spunky tit and a saggy tit, both of which will be attached to ya torso, so it does have the potential to look kinda weird. Still, I’m sure there’s a fetish somewhere for that kind of shit so it has potential.
I touch on tattoos below. Here’s the first wife’s equivalent, a pain patch.
Both Kodi and Dilan have been talking to their ol’ lady about getting a tattoo. Since forever, my first wife has always been against it. She’s never been a fan… however, when they mentioned that it would be for her or something she’s like, ‘Oh, yeah that’s alright then.’
Fuck I laughed at her change of heart, which I think played a part in her reaction. She turned directly to me, dipped her head to make sure I got the full on above glasses eye contact with a semi frown and stated, ‘Hmmm, maybe you should get one too.’
If I know her like I know her, I’m thinkin’ she’d want something like this…
On that note peeps, we’ll continue living our life of enjoyment and trepidation as should you, maybe just without the trepidation part.
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