Bird loves to bite people.
He loves to snuggle too, but he much prefers biting.
Bird’s bites hurt very much.
Bella would love to bite Bird.
Bella isn’t allowed to bite Bird.
Secretly, I would love it if Bella bit Bird.
Pudding would also love to bite Bird.
Pudding isn’t allowed to bite Bird.
I might sharpen her claws and make an exception.
We live our lives prisoners to Bird in our own home.
Bird could have been a team leader in Alfred Hitchcock’s film The Birds.
Bird does have a comforting soft tweet, but mostly has a loud horrible squawk.
Bird saves his loudest squawks for when I try to talk on the phone.
Bird’s favourite hobby is to shit on me.
In the two years we’ve had Bird he has failed to fly into a ceiling fan swirling very fast.
Bird is by far the best watchdog in our family though.
Like our other watchdog Bella, Bird has different sounds for whoever comes in our driveway.
If a robber came to our home I would send Bella to bed and sic Bird on them.
That is a very inhumane thing to do to the robbers but fuck ’em.
Bird is still a cunt!
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