The following is a true story.
I was at work and Dilan, then aged 15-years-old and my his mother had just returned home with Dilan’s new pet bird called Guava.
Dilan wasn’t aware I knew we had a new bird and the following is a real life txt conversation between us both.
Me: Take a roast out of the freezer to thaw out please. Maybe a roast chicken. If not a chicken than any sort of bird will do for a feed tonight.
Dilan: OK. Except for my bird.
Me: Huh?
Dilan sends pic…
Me: Is that Toms or in a pet shop?
Dilan: Mine.
Me: No it aint.
Dilan sends pic…
Me: When I left this morning there were no birds in our house. Only a pissing cat.
Dilan: It’s a Pineapple Green Cheek. Haha. Now we have a bird.
Me: You can’t spell properly… correct spelling is ‘now we have dinner.’
Dilan: Haha you wish. But then you owe me $80.
Me: Nah seriously, whose is it and why is it in our house?
Dilan: It’s mine. We got it from the bird expo.
Me: Aye…?
Dilan: It was about $80 with the cage and food.
Me: Liar. You wouldn’t waste your money on that.
Dilan: I’m not lying. And I wasn’t wasting my money.
Me: I didn’t say yes and your Mum wouldn’t say yes.
Dilan: Mum did say yes.
Me: Aye…? Did you cheat her with your dirty little sneak charm aye?
Dilan: Hahaha yeah. She fell for me. Talking about the bird though (sends short grainy video).
Me: Looks like a peri peri feed to me.
Dilan: Nah. Already settled in (Dilan sends pic)
Over the next week, we all came to love Guava.
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