Following on from an amazing gift (#2), I decided to spoil my first wife with the cream to the cake for which she had already been gifted.
I do feel though that I let my gift wrapping skill slip drastically with the presentation but this gift did give her alternative option for those more tired days.
Guess you could call this one ‘a gift of leisure’.
The wrapping is a mix of tie down straps for my trailer and a photo edit squiggly colour thing to for the ribbon effect.
Answer: To put y’all out of your misery, the shape underneath the wrappings in #3 Gifts for my first wife was a… lawn mower. I know right… 😉
With this birthday gift I figured she was actually getting two gifts in one… the actual thing under the wrapping and the fact it’s also a form of gym equipment and therefore assisted in keeping her fit.
Answer: To put y’all out of your misery, the shape underneath the wrappings in #2 Gifts for my first wife was a vacuum cleaner. I know right… 😉
I just asked my first wife what happened this week that I can write about and one of the first things she said was ‘I nagged more’. Fuck, I ain’t arguing with that but was hoping she’d tell me something I didn’t know.
Love this pic
Although we aren’t out socialising as often as we were, we’re still very much social due to people visiting and it really is nice for my cleaner to have people showing they care in person.
One couple of Marjana’s work mates came yesterday and brought the best fucking gift we’ve received yet. It’s a mean as blanket imported from England with a collage of some spastic cunt all over it. As if my cook doesn’t get enough of the spastic dude already 😉
Fuck yeah
I wasn’t even home to meet them or receive the gift ‘cos my first wife was pimping me out to one of her other work mates that needed some help cutting fallen trees after a storm ripped through their farm.
All this pimping out made me feel like I was back in my man-whoring days.
Coming home drained, covered in sweat, dirt, sawdust, cuts and scratches like a UFC fighter, there were more man-whore similarities than just being pimped out, I tell ya.
These poor fellas farm got smashed in the latest storm
Those sheilas from my first wife’s work bat for the other team and to be honest I can’t blame ’em ‘cos if I was a chick that’s how I’d roll too, but suffice to say, when I came home my first wife was still my first wife (well technically, she can’t ever not be I suppose) and hadn’t run off to join The Dark Side. It’s the small things in life, aye.
Workmates came to hang with the first wife
The Mrs was happy to also see Finland Tina who’s almost as spastic as I am. We know her from our Gold Coast days and she works at Pindara Oncology. She’s actually also quite brainy with this cancer shit so nice for them to have a catch up.
Chernobyl day was Wednesday and even with her vertigo hanging around like Bella trying to scavenge a feed, it went well.
Chemo is sooo much fun
We just came back from the cancer care clinic to get Marjana’s hipflask style bottle of chemo removed which is always a relief. I don’t feel real good when she has that attached and I ain’t even the one it’s attached to so imagine how she feels.
Will be interesting to see how the ol’ girl goes this weekend because last time she was kinda fucked up, so here’s to hoping aye.
Random photo of a brazier Dilan made at school. Got an A.
My mate Chris (and boss) had an operation yesterday on his own personal cancer battle so thinking of him too. He’s a good cunt, man and the world needs more good cunts and less shit cunts.
On Tuesday some sheilas from my work came out and had lunch with us; meaning my first wife, Chris and I and it was nice to catch up with them all as I haven’t been at work since our world fell over. Thanking y’all for having my back, man.
Bree is cupcake baker extraordinair
Also on Tuesday, Dilan had his semi formal and took some young sheila along as his date. He probably had the spunkiest looking chick to be honest. Even the first wife complimented him on how hot his date was so they should be proud if they get a tick of approval from her.
Semi formal night
When we were picking him up I asked the first wife why all the young chicks nowadays look spunky as fuck but when I was young like him they were all ugly as fuck (except for you sheilas from my younger days who are reading this… actually, nah just call it how it is I reckon) 😉
I cooked but Mrs takes credit for recipe
Finally, here’s to all the other cancer fighters out there because there’s fucking heaps of the poor cunts. It’s no surprise to me but life ain’t fair.
Gift wrapping for my first wife is without doubt one of my superpowers.
In these early gift wrapping days, I was definitely still finding my feet.
In fact, if I wasn’t actually living my life; like you know in actual real life, I could easily be forgiven for thinking I was a mutant in the original X-Men movie where I was discovering my superpower.
This gift was gifted to my first wife with devoted love for Christmas 2013.
Answer: To put y’all out of your misery, the shapes underneath the wrappings in #1 Gifts for my first wife were… a frying pan and an iron. I know right… 😉
Any idea what this one might be though…?
Ok, so maybe Santa can claim the credit for this gem of a gift
Some would think my first wife is the luckiest sheila in the whole wide world and hell, I see no reason to argue that point. She may though; but she is very well versed in arguing.
For those that follow me on Facebook, over the years you would’ve seen these pics come up on your feed. They now even have their own aptly titled album ‘Gifts for my Wife’.
These aren’t new presents but a collection of some of my finer moments utilising a wrapping skillset that many can only dream of.
I often hear ‘it’s the thought that counts’, but I’m more of a ‘its the wrapping efforts that count’ sort of guy.
From memory, this is my first attempt and looking at the pics I now see why I chose these… at this stage of my ‘gift wrapping skills apprenticeship’ I was still very much the equivalent of a home handyman finding his feet.
So without further ado I present the first in a collection of short blogs dedicated to this artform, so ta-daaaa….
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