Category: The Cancer Chronicles

Spoke to the first wife a couple times today and she was given the option by our surgeon of coming home today or staying another day or two.

Marjana opted for tomorrow and can’t blame her when ya see the food they give her.

I aint her father but I’ll claim it as Father’s Day gift.

So at this stage, after Dilan rugby game I’ll head in and pick her up.

I’m sure Kodi will happily stay home to clean the house aye 

No real status update apart from the fact she should be home tomorrow and she also got to speak to and see her Mama (WhatsApp) for first time since the op.

No actual chats with surgeon today but txts went like this…

Me: Fuck the food there looks yum as. Maybe we can swap places and I can go there for a feed 😉

Surgeon: Food has come a long way in hospital – man it had to it was bloody awful stuff.

Me: Sweet. So I just rock up and say here to pick up a parolee and they’ll release her from her cell and good to go?

Surgeon: Yep all the bond is sorted 

Recovering sick sheila update:

Today is Wednesday and it was Wednesday last week when my first wife had her guts ripped open and the three tumours taken out.

I managed to get in for another visit for her to sign some papers and while there she was finally moved from ICU to a ward room with a window and view of a windy day and an overgrown, under-maintained garden.

I bought some nice chocolates and a card for the doctors and nurses and wrote some fluffy words on them at her request because the staff have been so nice to her in ICU.

On the topic of food, Marjana finally ate some solids today.

She was very happy to move into her own room that has her own toilet and the fact she can now walk to said toilet by herself is a appreciated.

Also appreciated, were all your cards and small gifts I took in for her to read and see. She loved them and her comments can be your first Quote of the Day:

First Wife: It’s so nice. It’s uplifting. (That speaks volumes).

She knew about the GoFundMe page Kimberley Winslow set up and I said it had now reached $16,000 and she said it was amazing even though she thought it was $1,600 so when I explained about there being another zero she was blown away and it was really nice to see.

I also spoke to our surgeon this morning who couldn’t be happier with her progress and took an evening away from ‘our’ missus to take his daughter to the pub for her 18th birthday. Gotta love those Virgos right.

Other Quotes of the Day were…

Surgeon: Those Oncologists are like the nerds of our industry but they really know their shit and make up these special concoctions.

Me: Kinda like modern day witches and warlocks then?

Laughter 🙂

Surgeon: Seriously mate, even I sometimes have trouble understanding what they are saying so just nod my head.

Laughter 🙂

Me: Oh, it’s like having a wife then?

Talking in more depth about the tumours he removed…

Surgeon: They were definitely three separate tumours. One was the main large one, one was smaller but still significant and the third one was small but I took all three out. The way I see it (referring to Chemo), the more you can remove the less you have to kill later.

Me: Yeah I think Hitler used the same analogy.

Laughter 🙂

Surgeon: But anyway mate, she’s definitely on the path home now.

Me: Fuck, we’re miles away. She’ll be tired as when she gets here.

Laughter 

She must be getting better because she was telling me to clean the house and shit and once she started giving me chores, I said I had to go 

She is still tired as fuck but is untold better than she has been on any other day so far. She is replying to heaps more messages now.

At this stage, looking at Friday for a release from custody.

On another note, anyone know how to kill these little green cunts that are trying to eat all my garden? Figured I’d squash as many as I could see to leave evidence to scare off any others hanging around. Probably not a great theory but hoping someone has a natural solution rather than spraying with poison.

Quite an eventful day today actually…

Spoke to my first wife for 25 minutes this morning and she sounded a lot better than yesterday and more so than the day before so getting better.

Spoke to our surgeon twice today as well and Marjana is on the up and your first Quote of the Day was this morning…

Me: G’day mate.

Surgeon: Did ya boys give ya a win for our birthdays yesterday mate?

Me: They were typical Aussies and robbed the other team to score in the last minute to steal the win.

Laughter 🙂

Surgeon: She is getting better mate and will be back to normal in no time.

Me: Oh thank fuck, she’ll be normal. Always wanted a normal one.

Laughter 🙂

I phoned up asking if I could drop flowers off to the first wife and was told by ICU no but also that they would allow me to visit her for an hour.

Went in to see her and the ICU doctor said he hasn’t seen her smile like that since she’s been there so that was a nice little moment.

Managed a WhatsApp video chat with her brother Slobo back in the Old Country who was so happy to see and speak with her. That was nice because he told Mama and her other family members too.

Marjana was giving me the hint to cut it off and I did just in time for her to produce the biggest chunder in the history of the world, ever! Still trying to sort her pain killer meds. It was humungous. Poor girl.

But she was smiling and so happy to see me and hear about all the love and prayers from y’all and I thank you for that because it makes her feel better.

She is still in ICU which isn’t a bad thing because she has one on one care and said the doctors and nurses there are amazing. This has opened her eyes up to how hard they work and the long hours they do, so hats off to them.

She may go to a ward tomorrow but that depends on her.

All in all though, she was a hell of a lot better than yesterday and even said so herself.

We took a moment to think about all the innocent children who are affected by diseases such as this before their lives really take off and as much as this sucks for her, just imagine how those kids and their parents would feel 😦

Your second Quote of the Day was during our surgeon’s second phone call.

Me: G’day mate.

Him: (without even a greeting) Geez mate, I really see the effect you have on your wife as she spews as soon as you turn up to see her.

Laughter 🙂

And for the record, I am going to turn into a big fat cunt if all this food supply continues. It’s worse than COVID lockdown diet 😉

Visitors are still not allowed and any cards, flowers etc I can sort or pick up and get to her.

I wasn’t even going to share this because I still feel stink about it but I can’t not share it because simply put, the love, care and generosity is simply overwhelming.

Marjana does not even know about it yet so this will definitely be a very nice surprise for her.

Even Dilan school mates who are kids are donating and I feel like a robber taking candy from kids.

I will go through in depth and reply later but I just wanted to express my thanks for the donations to date which is currently $9,885 but most of all I wanted to express my thanks for your love and support and for caring about my first wife like I do.

I would often really piss her off when talking about other sheilas in my life before her but would always tell her ‘Don’t worry about those ones ljubavi because you’re the winner. You’re the only one I’ve ever married.’

I’m still not sure she would agree with the winner comment but she is without doubt, my first wife 😉

I feel I will have to up my spastic update posts to keep you all entertained and informed as best I can, including you Kodi.

Much love people from all walks of life. I love you, man!

Kimberley Winslow 31 August

The support from everyone in Marjana’s community has been so overwhelming and very emotional. The love is so so so felt. I don’t know many of you, but I feel so connected to you and I have loved briefly chatting to some of you through messenger ❤ You’re such good, caring and beautiful people! I hope to meet you all on person one day ❤ From the bottom of my heart, truly, deeply thank you!

Brendon Winslow is keeping us all updated on his Facebook and I’m so grateful for his sense of humor. I’ll buy tickets to your foul mouthed stand up debut any day!

GoFundMe page here… gf.me/u/yur75j

Just got off phone with our surgeon, who for the record is a good cunt. Found out that today is also his birthday so happy birthday to you Dr Peter Yuide 👏👏👏  If anyone ever meets him, please buy him some piss.

He’s happy that my first wife’s recovery is tracking along very nicely and she continues to improve.

Had a spew this morning and also farted.

He thinks the spew was nausea because of the medication but I know her better than him and thinking her spew was probably the result of her fart.

And your Quote of the Day;

Me: You said the rumour was larger than a tennis ball but what does it actually look like?

Surgeon: To be honest mate, its fucken ugly.

Me: So kinda like my head.

Laughter 🙂

Me: Where the tumour now mate? Like do we get to bring it home to plant in the garden and piss on it?

Surgeon: Nah mate, its in a lab being checked so her medication can be specific to her.

Me: Well today is my birthday mate so your phone call is good news so thank you.

Surgeon: Ha well happy birthday to you mate and its also my birthday too.

Me: Fuck man, you were already a good cunt and having the same birthday as me proves it. I know half a dozen people who share the same birthday as me and every single one of them is a real good cunt mate, so well done and happy birthday to you.

Laughter