Dilan gets a bird (part two)

The following is a true story.

I was at work and Dilan, then aged 15-years-old and my his mother had just returned home with Dilan’s new pet bird called Guava.

Dilan wasn’t aware I knew we had a new bird and the following is a real life txt conversation between us both.

Me: Take a roast out of the freezer to thaw out please. Maybe a roast chicken. If not a chicken than any sort of bird will do for a feed tonight.

Dilan: OK. Except for my bird.

Me: Huh?

Dilan sends pic…

Me: Is that Toms or in a pet shop?

Dilan: Mine.

Me: No it aint.

Dilan sends pic…

Me: When I left this morning there were no birds in our house. Only a pissing cat.

Dilan: It’s a Pineapple Green Cheek. Haha. Now we have a bird.

Me: You can’t spell properly… correct spelling is ‘now we have dinner.’

Dilan: Haha you wish. But then you owe me $80.

Me: Nah seriously, whose is it and why is it in our house?

Dilan: It’s mine. We got it from the bird expo.

Me: Aye…?

Dilan: It was about $80 with the cage and food.

Me: Liar. You wouldn’t waste your money on that.

Dilan: I’m not lying. And I wasn’t wasting my money.

Me: I didn’t say yes and your Mum wouldn’t say yes.

Dilan: Mum did say yes.

Me: Aye…? Did you cheat her with your dirty little sneak charm aye?

Dilan: Hahaha yeah. She fell for me. Talking about the bird though (sends short grainy video).

Me: Looks like a peri peri feed to me.

Dilan: Nah. Already settled in (Dilan sends pic)

Over the next week, we all came to love Guava.